Overheard in Istanbul: Tourists

Tourist season is coming to an end. With school starting many people have gone home, leaving the streets a little less crowded. Over the summer, I collected funny things I'd overheard tourists say while walking down Istiklal, communicating with security guards and on public transportation.

2 middle aged couples on Istiklal, stopped in front of St. Anthony's Church
Man A: Shall we go inside?
Woman A&B: Its not oooollldd enough

Backpacking boy and girl on tram going through Eminonu
Girl: I know all about Istanbul. Thats Topkapi Palace! (pointing to Yeni Cami)

Middle aged German couple, Kabatas-Uskudar ferry 
Man: Two tickets to Galata Bridge, please.

Large cruise ship family of all ages, tram, Sirkeci
Mother: They have McDonalds?! I thought they couldn't eat beef!
Son: thats pork

Young couple, fresh off the cruise ship, photographing a simit cart, Kabatas
Woman: they sell retarded bagels

3 Young British girls emerging from their hostel, draping pashminas over their heads
Girl 1: how do they keep these on, mine keeps sliding down
Girl 2: its really hot in here
Girl 3: do we really need these?
Girl 1: it is a muslim country. Do you want to get stoned on holiday?
Girl 3: no one else is wearing them...

2 college grads, guide book in hand, walking across Galata Bridge, 2.5yrs ago
Girl 1: this bridge separates Europe and Asia!
(ok, ok this one is admittedly me from my first trip to Istanbul and its really, really embarrassing now)